May 26 2008
Big Brown On Crack
A quarter crack, left front hoof. Read up on the cause and effects of quarter cracks, everybody, because you’re going to be hearing about this one for the next two weeks–what it means, how it affects the performance, whether or not running a horse on a (presumably) healed, non-painful quarter crack constitutes animal cruelty.
The fix involves implants, so at least Big Brown will still get acting work. And to answer a voice mail I was left last night: No, this does not mean anybody is going to shoot him.
What would be highly entertaining is if Big Brown were choppered into the Belmont in a sling, and casts on all four legs, and one of those satellite collars you put on dogs. Mainstream journalists everywhere would assume Full Freak Out Mode: “HE’S LAAAAAAME!” Then Trainer Rick upwraps him and lets ‘em run full-out, all, “Don’t worry, we toked him up real good on anabolic steroids this morning.” Oh, man, the Congressional inquiry and the wall-to-wall New York Times coverage would start before they even sprung the starting gate. Rick, I live down the street from a Tractor Supply Company. We can make this happen.





